Happiness

by Dave Smallen

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04:44
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04:17
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04:21
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03:59
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02:08
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credits

released 13 December 2011

Dave Smallen - Vocals, Background Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar, Piano, Organ, Synth, Mellotron, Toy Piano, Harmonica
Evan Evans - Bass
Noah Clark - Drums & Percussion
Mike Knox - Electric Guitar, Arrangement
Max Bernstein - Electric Guitar, Lap Steel
Elliot Glass - Electric Guitar
Kaleena Goldsworthy - Vocals, Piano
Leslie Stevens - Vocals
Natalie Ryan - Vocals
Shawn Harris - Vocals
Vanessa Harris - Vocals
Arjun Singh - Percussion

Written and Produced by Dave Smallen
Mixed by Robert Cheek
Mastered by Hans Dekline
Engineered by Robert Cheek, James Leste, Elliot Glass, Max Bernstein, Jim Goldsworthy, Dave Smallen
Recorded at The Hangar in Sacramento CA, James’ space in Oakland CA, Dave’s House in Los Angeles, Elliot’s place in Los Angeles, Max’s place in Los Angeles, The Hollow in Syracuse NY, My parent’s house in Oakland CA

This album was paid for by a successful crowdfunding campaign, check it out here: www.indiegogo.com/dave-smallen-happiness

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Track Name: Happiness
I wish that I could show you all I've seen, I've been well educated in sadness, I've learned all I need, and I've felt the tug of fame, I've been soft spoken, I've watched the hills all burning down, I've felt the fear split wide open, and I used to watch the sun set on the bay in the vivid colors of depression, in the light of fading day, and I tried so goddamned hard to be satisfied with what filled my eyes

I didn't want to live a long life, if you understand, you only feel what you feel, it's so impossible to plan to live a long life when the whole world holds you down, when every hope casts a shadow of doubt, I didn't want to live a long life, but I"ll do my best in any moment to get a little happiness, cause you get what you get, I guess

So I make a worry and I pick it til it bleeds, I carry it with me as I'm driving down those cracked and busted streets, where the kids standing on the corner smoking have all been locked up, all been knocked up, grown up hard in East Oakland and I know to them that my life must seem tame, but everybody's heaviest worry, it still weighs the same and I feel the tension rise as I pass by, you can see it in their eyes

They don't expect to live a long life and hey I understand, you only see what you see it's so impossible to plan to live a long life when the whole world holds you down, when every hope casts a shadow of doubt, they don't expect to live a long life and me I do my best, in any moment, to get a little happiness, cause you get what you get, I guess

With all that said I can always say some more, I feel you busting off the hinges on this long locked up door and the stakes have never ever felt so high, I want to factor you into my dreams, I want you to build me in your life, I want to know you got my back through anything, but you gotta be patient, baby, this is all new to me and I'm scared though you know I wouldn't lie, look into my eyes

You make me want to live a long life if it's by your side, I want to know you want it too, I want nothing to hide, to live a long life, well that's the hope, but the future isn't yours or mine to know, you make me want to live a long life, and I'll do my best, in any moment, to give you a little happiness, but you get who you get, I guess
Track Name: Something You Could Say
You might think that we were married
By the silence in the room
I'm feeling tired, it's been a long day
It's been a long year
I know you're stressed, I'm stressed out too

And there's something you could say to me
That's gonna stop this feeling
There's something you could say to me
That's gonna make it easy again
There's something you could say to me
That's gonna get me talking
There's something you could say to me
And there's something you could say

And so I get a cup of coffee
I walk into the afternoon
I watch the arc and swing of a wrecking ball
Raze a building
It makes me think of me and you
But that's not what I want to do

And there's something I could say to you
That's gonna stop this feeling
There's something I could say to you
That's gonna make you happy again
There's something I could say to you
That's gonna get you talking
There's something I could say to you
And there's something I could say

Every time we fight we're stronger for the pain
And I know how far I searched before I saw your face
I just wish for once somehow I could explain
Why I feel this way, today

There's something you could say to me
That's gonna stop this feeling
There's something you could say to me
That's gonna make us happy again
There's something you could say to me
That's gonna get us talking
There's something you could say to me
And there's something you could say
Track Name: Miss You Before You're Gone
It's 4am
And I'm rising out of bed
I take her suitcases to the car
Defrost the windshield in the dark
And there's not a flake of sun
As I'm driving down the 101
She leans her head over onto me
She says baby I don't want to leave

You know something feels wrong
It's just a couple weeks, won't be that long
Still I miss you before I'm gone
I start to miss you before I'm gone

And as I drive away
As the sun rises above the bay
I'm drifting off in the highway sounds
Thinking back to some Midwestern town
Where I'm stepping off the stage
And couple kids come up to me and say
This place could burn there's nothing I would miss
What you doing in a place like this?

You know I always sing your songs
I've seen you once or twice it's been so long
Still I miss you before you're gone
I start to miss you before you're gone
And I say oh well I was close
I had a deal once I had my dose
But money comes and it fucks things up
Don't really like to talk about it much
But no matter where I play
When the crowd's hanging onto all I say
I miss that feeling before it's gone
I miss that feeling before it's gone
And you start to notice things
Amid the crumbling of your dreams
The way the sunlight hits the leaves
The way she whispers as she falls asleep
When she says I love you too
Man those things everyone's entitled to
Don't want to miss them before I'm gone
Don't want to miss them before I'm gone

As I drive away
As her plane rises above the bay
I hope she's looking down over me
Resting quiet in a window seat
You know something feels wrong
It's just a couple weeks won't be that long
Still I missed her 'fore she was gone
I start to miss her before she's gone
Track Name: They Don't Need To Understand
I saw my old friend the other day
He got a new job, he's getting paid
Working hard from the morning light
Coming home down and tired of life
So we got some whiskey at the corner store
Sat there drinking on his front porch
He said man you're always good to make me laugh
Why you sell yourself so serious?

And I said I don't know
Sometimes I'm not sure why we do anything at all
But you gotta do a little for yourself

And all of your hard luck, they may never see
All of your dreams and all your victories
All your explaining, they may never understand

I got your letters and I read them well
I'm just happy knowing I could help
I don't know you but I know what you mean
Yeah I could picture everything
You were singing my songs in the dead of night
In your mother's attic under moth filled lights
In those teenage years when every feeling cuts
Down to the marrow

And you can't listen to them
Even though it's the old cliches that wind up right in the end
But you gotta figure all of that for yourself

And all of your hard luck, they may never see
All of your dreams and all your victories
All your explaining, they may never understand
So take all that feeling and put it in a song
Sing it to me until it's all gone
And maybe they don't need to understand

There were times when I could take it slow
There were times when I could take a joke
There were times I could've fooled myself
There were times I could've killed myself
And it always seemed the things I got
Were eclipsed by the things I'm not
I got paid and I found success
Is measured in happiness
Track Name: The Rain
My dad sold his car in 1972
Yeah he thought that he was headed to Vietnam
But the sores on his hands and his eyes got him the pardon
And he walked out clear, instead he met my mom
And I was brought up among the files
In sleepless seasons and murder trials
Yeah I learned to live a good life you gotta shoulder some pain
But it's raining tonight, yeah it's raining tonight,
And man I love to hear it rain

My friend and me stayed up and talked about his addiction
Thirty sober days and the pain in his legs wont stop
He said it feels so damn good to get my hands back on some ambition
I would've been famous now had I not burned those years right off
And I said,
Some rich men take their own lives
And some blind men take a beautiful wife
If you're working hard you know you got a right to complain
But it's raining tonight, my friend it's raining tonight
And man I love to hear it rain

I love to hear it rain
I love to hear the rain
I love to hear that old soft sound just washing away the day

I spent some time in Hollywood, I spent all my money
So I came back up to stay at my parent's house
You know I only ever struggle with the things that I don't know
I'm gonna spend my whole life trying to figure all that out
And I've always felt just a little strange
A little bit too old for my face
You know sometimes I get the feeling I'll be first to the grave
But it's raining tonight, yeah it's raining tonight
And man I love to hear it rain
Track Name: Been In Love
At first I must admit I wasn't looking for nothing
When I stepped into the crowd all the colors started running
But I take a chance when it comes to me
And through the blur, yeah there you were
And for a moment I was 16, aching as always
For a girl collecting light far down a crowded hallway
If I knew back then what I know now, I wouldn't have even tried
Cause now I've looked into your eyes

I've been in love so many times, it never gets easier
I make mistakes, I never seem to learn
Hey you, don't you go and make me hurt

I can be sure as hell you're not interested in hearing
About the road I walked before, I wish I could strike it clear
But I will spare you the dirt and gravel strewn about my past
And I'll suffice it just to tell you that
All the regrets I've ever had, all the mistakes I've ever made
Well they all just disappeared the moment I looked into your face
You know I wouldn't change a minute that led up to now
As long as you don't shoot me down, don't shoot me down

I've been in love, so many times it never gets easier
I make mistakes, I never seem to learn
Hey you, don't you go and make me hurt
No you understand, when I hold you in my shaking hands
When we're singing along to a 1990s band
Hey you, no one's gonna ruin our plans

When I was young, I had this dream
There was this girl always next to me
I knew her heartbeat, her hands
But every time I tried to see her face
She'd turn away
But it was love

I knew that it was you right when the night got cold
You pressed your body into mine, all your heart all your soul
I found your fingers in the darkness and everything was still
All the pain was killed, all the blood was spilled
Track Name: Sometimes The Right Cure Takes A Little More Pain
I tried to save them
But no one seemed to care
I've been robbed by men in need
I've been robbed by millionaires
And I earned my anger
Always playing dumb and meek
Always turning the other cheek
Til I was beat up

Sometimes the right cure takes a little more pain
Sometimes they help you to your feet
Just to kick you down again, yeah
Sometimes the right cure takes a little more pain
Sometimes it takes a lot more pain

I get nostalgic
Every time I hear that song
For a past that isn't mine
And a chance that's long gone
You wake up on that big stage
And you don't feel like a star
It's just sad girls in bars
That wont stop talking

Sometimes the right cure takes a little more pain
Sometimes you gotta bloody your knuckles
To get out of the fight you're in, yeah
Sometimes the right cure takes a little more pain
Sometimes it takes a lot more pain

And late at night
The wind rushes through her bones
I hold her tight, pile blankets but she's still cold
I say,
The future's gonna barge right in with
Demands we can't foresee
Ah but our love is strong so we don't
Always have to be, baby

Sometimes the right cure takes a little more pain
Yeah nobody falls in love
You gotta climb it day by day, yeah
Sometimes the right cure takes a little more pain
Sometimes it takes a lot more
Sometimes it takes a whole lot more
Sometimes it takes a little,
More pain
Track Name: Fathers Of Our Fathers
From down in the mine, to the statues on high
The names that they leave lose their meaning with time
The hands they'd shake and the hands that they'd bind
All are hands like yours and mine

And the chains we're still dragging, the broken branches of family
That hang neath the shadows of the ones we love madly
Each generation leaves the next to overcome
The failed promise of the things they've done

And the fathers of our fathers
May their anger be buried with their bones
And the daughters of our daughters
They need not know

And I know there were times you felt on the outside
Hearing the rush of the freeway through your window at night
Well baby I got my own road that divides
The line I walk with the bed I lie

And no matter what you do to me you got nothing to prove to me
I'll love you in the judgement of the morning light, you should see
I'm gonna love you when the money's all gone
In the black of night, in the blue of dawn

And the fathers of our fathers
May their anger be buried with their bones
And the daughters of our daughters
They need not know

We got work to do
This ain't easy for me and you
This ain't easy for anyone
Never met no one whose work was done

The fathers of our fathers
lifted in steel, frozen in stone
And the bodies that lie neath the dawn's early light
Stay unknown

Yeah the fathers of our fathers
May their anger be buried with their bones
And the daughters of our lovely daughters
They need not know
Track Name: Good Man
It's late, it's too late to call
I probably wouldn't anyways, I hardly ever call
Unless somethings going wrong
Right now I'm just thinking
I know you worry, but I'm coming back
Never wanted to be tough but this life has made me like that
Whatever it takes to float
I'm not sinking

I got a girl now
And she says I'm a good man
And I believe her
I think I am

Still trying to make it, but the goals always change
Some have lost their faith in me and some they still remain
I was never cool
But I got something to say
And Richard Manuel, Nick Drake, Kurt Cobain
I know you've seen me make that choice I don't want to make it again
I want to be happy
I want you to know you raised me the right way

I got a girl now
And she pays mind to how tall I stand
And she believes in me
She says be patient, you know you can
I got a girl now
And she says I'm a good man
And I believe her
I think I am

And no one's an angel, I heard someone say
When your wrong is my right
And it just takes a little effort to push someone away
But to hold her you gotta hold tight
Yeah you gotta make time
You gotta lay something on the line
Sometimes

Remember that kid
That used to work for me
He tried to pull one over it was hard on the whole family
I felt no remorse, when I'd start him crying
Yeah I've been cruel, at times I've lost control
At first you're just talking then it builds up then it blows
I got no promises
But you gotta know I'm trying
I'm trying

I got a girl now
A reason to face each great goddamn
Ain't gonna leave her
No I know something good when it's in my hands
I got a girl now
And she says I'm a good man
And I believe her, I believe her, I believe her
I know I am
Track Name: Sunday Afternoon
I can't recall how I got next to you
When I woke on the carpet on Sunday Afternoon
And I walked in the kitchen and you were wearing that dress
And I knew I was going to see you again

Some end in a breakup, some end in regret
Some end when they don't call you, and some end in death
But I'm not quite concerned now with how this might end
Cause I know that I'm going to see you again

And the sun was in your eyes
Still you looked into mine
And before we both turned our heads
Yeah I knew I was going to see you again

I can't recall how I got next to you
As the wind shook the shutters on Sunday Afternoon
And we talked, yeah we talked, don't matter how much we said
Cause I know that I'm going to see you again

And the sun was in your eyes
Still you looked into mine
And before we both turned our heads
Yeah I knew I was going to see you again
Oh I knew I was going to see you again
Oh I know that I'm going to see you
Again
Track Name: IKTYDWTBMG
Well I was out at the room last Thursday night
In the dim dark barroom light singing along to Jackson Five
When who should I see dancing next to me but the girl I met on Monday night, who I called up but she didn't reply

And I said,
I know that you don't want to be my girl
Yeah I don't need to be told
There's things you can't control
And I know that you don't want to be my girl
But I'm gonna call you anyway
Sha La Da La La Da La

And she said wait hey Dave, who I met the other day
What are you doing in this Place? And I just gave her a blank face, and turned and walked away, left without a trace, I want her worse now, funny how that works now

And I said,
I know that you don't want to be my girl
Yeah I don't need to be told
There's things you can't control
And I know that you don't want to be my girl
But I'm gonna call you anyway
Sha La Da La La Da La

Next time you see me, If you think you want me
You better kiss me the way I know you missed me
And you better remind me the way I know you like me
And you better touch me so I know you're thinking of me
Cause I'm so insecure, you gotta make me sure!

And I know that you don't want to be my girl
Yeah I know that you don't want to be my girl
Yeah I know that you don't want to be my girl, be my girl
Sha La Da La La Da La
Track Name: The Place I'm From
It was the first time you saw me angry
The cold Brooklyn night, broken glass on the snow
And in the wind on the street, I set down my guitar
I got this feeling, like when they call you son
So I'm headed back to the place I'm from

They called me out here just to say to me
You don't make enough money, you're not worth the time
Some people don't take responsibility for shifting other people's lives
They say I'm finished, but I'm not done
I'm just headed back to the place I'm from

And I drove hard through the snow and the heat
I held my ground on the edge of defeat
And all those eyes as they'd tear into me
The subway ride as I'd slide underneath
All those kids sacrificing their souls
For the myth of Rock & Roll
And money and fame and those who crumble for those things
They'll only leave you
They'll only leave

I think if you're gracious and you work hard
If you're kind to other people and got something to say
Then you can make a living but it might not be much
So you gotta love it, and I won't be stunned
If it takes you back to the place you're from
If it takes you back to the place you're from